Hello weekend.

I have been in my pjs all morning, doing homework. I guess weekends aren't all what they are made out to be, but gosh are they close. 

Most things begin when no one is paying attention

photo credit: unsplash.com

As far as my human brain can comprehend there is a beginning to everything, or at least that is what I have been taught. Stories begin with "once upon a time" and a race starts with "ready set go". Babies are born, the sun rises, the school bell rings and scientists have tried to prove the beginning of earth since humans have realized their own existence. 

Do we really know what "beginnings" are- after all most things begin when no one is paying attention anyway.  

In stories the "once upon a time" is a almost like a cheat or a jump to the plot of a story. The racers at a starting mark have been running long before they lined up. Babies live within the womb and their spirits have been alive much longer. The sun rises every morning, new days are inevitable. Learning took place long before buildings and bells. Discovery is part of human nature, but can one truly discover the start?

And if there is a beginning there there has to be an end. I don't believe there is an end either. Progression and change isn't the same as coming to an end.

photo credit: unsplash.com

Look closely. There is a person in this picture, arms are spread and I am sure a realization of life is sweeping over this benevolent soul. I don't know where this is, but I want to go. I want to stand on the edge overlooking beauty and breath in.

Reality check: life is busy. 

I have been raised to work hard, and I am so grateful. I have trained myself to live from a list or else I get anything done. I day dream sometimes and if people observing was a sport I would be a gold medalist. I am a returned missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have been a student at Utah State and I now attend BYU. I work for BYU Broadcasting. I have made many friends and care for all of them, even though I don't talk to them all anymore. Fresh flowers always catch my eye and I have a conscience that won't let me get away with anything. Sometimes I get depressed, but life is still wonderful. I love to dance in front of the mirror. Writing brings me understanding and I get a high from running long distances. I married a man who is such a blessing in my life that just thinking about him makes me all choked up... 

I consider myself accomplished when I don't compare myself to anyone else. 

But I do. 

I don't mean to.

I want an UNbeginning. I want to climb hills now and make it to school on time. I want to live today and enjoy mortality. I want to spend time discovering purpose and fulfilling my own.

Cheers.